


make me a match

by orphan_account



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Eventual relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Repressed Emotions, Sexual Tension, also theyre best friends. their dynamic is so pure, celty and Shizuo are each other’s third wheels change my mind, i need sleep but shizaya is more important, izaya just wants to watch his kindergarten anime and then he gets a smooch, third wheel celty, why can I only write well when it’s late??, you guys really like that shizaya stuff huh?? what a mood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “I just don’t get it.”Shizuo sat on the couch, tugging at his hair.“I mean, I hate him. He hates me. We hate each other. But I don’t know why. It’s like..it’s like there’s something inside me telling me ‘you have to hate Izaya Orihara.’ So I do.”
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Celty Sturluson, Heiwajima Shizuo & Tanaka Tom, Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 14
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

“I just don’t _get_ it.”

Shizuo sat on the couch, tugging at his hair. 

“I mean, I hate him. He hates me. We hate each other. But I don’t know _why._ It’s like..it’s like there’s something inside me telling me ‘you have to hate Izaya Orihara.’ So I do.”

Shizuo looked up at the sound of tapping. Celty held up her phone. 

_Shizuo. I’m going to say something crazy and I don’t want you to freak out._

“Okay?”

More tapping. Shizuo sat anxiously. 

_Have you considered that it could be something like sexual tension?_

Shizuo stared at the screen. Celty slowly pulled her phone away, her body tense. 

“Huh?”

_Do you find Izaya attractive?_

“I, um, I mean.” Shizuo’s back straightened. He talked too fast. “I guess some people might..might find him attractive but I hate him. Even..like, if he-“

_Shizuo. Relax. It’s just me._

Shizuo bit his lip. “I..I hate him,” Shizuo said, seemingly choosing his words carefully, “but that doesn’t change the fact that he..he is somewhat good looking. He’s good looking. He’s attractive.”

_Do you like, say- being close to him?_

Shizuo thought back to his more recent encounters with Izaya. He thought back to all of them. In all of them, he was close to Izaya at one point. Sometimes he would have Izaya against the wall with a fistful of his shirt and he could feel Izaya’s blade on his neck.

Did he like that?

His face flushed. There was definitely some emotion tied to being close to Izaya, but he had always dismissed it as anger. Rage. Izaya was nothing but a flea, nothing but an annoyance. 

“I don’t know.” It was hard to say. Celty nodded. 

_Now, I’m no expert, but I’ve been thinking about this a bit, actually. I think it’s possible that..maybe, all these years, you don’t really hate Izaya. You just felt_ feelings _and you told yourself that feeling was hate._

“But..he’s so annoying,” Shizuo said. He was having trouble processing what Celty was saying. He and Izaya had a thing. Their thing was that they hated each other. Had that all been a lie?

_Yes, Izaya’s definitely annoying. But maybe you thought that your feelings for him were annoying, too. So you shoved them away. You put a label on them. You didn’t want to deal with them._

He hated how much what she was saying was making sense. 

_You think about him all the time, don’t you?_

Shizuo swallowed. “Yeah.”

He really did. He always thought about where Izaya was, what Izaya was doing, who Izaya was with. 

So he could find him, right? So he could grind him into a pulp?

It didn’t seem so right anymore. 

“All the time.”

Celty lowered her phone. Shizuo stared at the black clouds spiraling from her neck. 

_Talk to him. Don’t fight with him, don’t hurt him. Just talk to him._

•••

Izaya had just gotten comfortable on his couch when there was a knock at his door. He forced himself up and managed the cheeriest voice he could, calling, “coming!” And he wondered what _delightful_ little human had come to him now. Namie? Mikado? Masaomi? Or maybe just a regular client. 

Regardless, he didn’t expect anything more exciting than television. 

He swung open the door. 

“Um..hi, Flea.”

Izaya could feel his whole body tense. 

_Shizuo?_ Why was _Shizuo_ at his apartment, knocking at the door and saying “hi” like they were buds? Did Shizuo want a fight? Should he get his knife? Should he-

“Don’t worry,” Shizuo said. Izaya couldn’t get past how weird this was. Shizuo was telling him not to worry? Like you tell your friend not to worry? “I didn’t come for a fight.”

Izaya let himself look like he was relaxed. He wasn’t. It was one of his masks. Shizuo wasn’t any different. Shizuo was looking at the mask. 

“What do you want, then?”

“I wanted to talk.”

Izaya almost laughed. Shizuo, who threw vending machines and trash cans at him, wanted to _talk_. 

“About?”

“Can I come in?” He could hear Shizuo start to get irritated. What a shocker. 

“As long as you don’t break anything.”

Shizuo didn’t respond to that. He invited himself in and closed the door behind him. Izaya rolled his eyes. 

Now, another one of Izaya’s masks was how much he hated Shizuo. Because he had begun to question it. He had started to grow tired of ceaselessly being chased around the city. Why? Why did they do it?

But it’s not like he could just walk up to Shizuo’s apartment, knock on his door, and say, “hey, Shizuo, buddy! I’ve gotta say, I don’t really feel like hating you anymore.”

Hold on. 

“I wanted to talk,” Shizuo said again. “Actually, I don’t know about that. I’m..not too great at talking.”

“Really?” Izaya asked sarcastically. 

Why did his tongue feel like lead when it was supposed to feel like silver?

“Can I get to my goddamn point without you interrupting me?”

They were close now. Shizuo was a few inches taller than Izaya and Izaya had always hated it. Shizuo was looking down at him. Izaya didn’t like when people looked down at him. It made him feel like they thought he was less than them. 

“ _Sure_.” Izaya was mad now, too. And he didn’t know why. 

“I just- I need to do something. It’s like a test. But if you want me to stop it, then just say something, okay?”

Izaya debated on saying “stop” right there, just to piss him off, but didn’t really feel like getting a tooth punched out. 

“Okay.”

“Close your eyes.”

Well, maybe he’d get a tooth punched out anyways. He was pretty sure he was too late to say stop once he tasted blood in his mouth. 

But he closed his eyes like Shizuo said. And neither of them moved for a bit. Neither of them breathed. 

And then there was a hand, grabbing Izaya’s shirt and pushing him up against the wall. This dance was all too familiar. Izaya opened his eyes, ready to try to defend himself, but he didn’t see his apartment. He didn’t see Shizuo, growling, raising a fist at him. 

He saw brown. Brown eyes. 

And he felt lips. Chapped lips, moving slowly against his own. 

And god, it felt so _good_.

Fighting Shizuo didn’t feel right. But this? This was right. 

He could feel Shizuo hesitate and get nervous, starting to pull away, so he moved a hand to a back of his head. He felt Shizuo smile. They both closed their eyes. 

And Izaya tasted blood but he didn’t say stop. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //prequel to chapter one!
> 
> //possible tw: light description of death (but it’s only metaphorically, don’t worry)

Tom was starting to get tired of it. 

Hearing Shizuo do nothing but rant about Izaya was exhausting, especially when Shizuo couldn’t see the clear truth that was right in front of him. 

He had started to tune Shizuo out whenever he started talking about Izaya. Izaya did this and Izaya did that and _god,_ Izaya was so annoying, Tom, I want to- I want to-

“Do you _actually_ want to kill him?” Tom asked. Shizuo cut himself off, looking at Tom in confusion. 

“Don’t you listen to anything I say?”

“I know you _say_ you do. You want him dead. Wiped off the earth - or so you claim.” Tom could see Shizuo getting irritated and quickly got to his point. “Would you be happy?”

Shizuo looked away. He breathed in a cancerous puff of smoke. 

“Say you successfully killed Izaya. You grabbed him and threw him onto the ground, grinding his skull into the concrete, watching the life drain from his-”

“ _Stop_.” Shizuo didn’t look mad anymore - he looked disturbed. And Tom knew that all Shizuo wanted to do was _get rid_ of Izaya or something about him - he didn’t want to kill him. He didn’t want him _dead._

He was _avoiding_ something. 

“I’m sorry,” Tom said. “Do you see what I’m saying? It won’t solve any problems you have with the guy.” He paused. “But I don’t want to be involved in this. Talk to someone you trust, okay?”

Shizuo huffed and pulled out his phone. There was only one person he trusted with this. 

_Celty. Can we talk?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //ty for all the support this already has gotten!! ily guys <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we’re back in the regular timeline! this is a part two to chapter one
> 
> also! there’s a lot of talk of the two of them touching each other in this one but it’s not sexual my dude so if that makes you uncomfy, that’s not where this is going. :)

After the kiss, not a lot was different. 

Shizuo still thought about him constantly. But it didn’t make him mad. And he didn’t wonder where Izaya was because he could look over and Izaya would smile at him. 

They had a new thing now. They _were_ a thing. 

Not that people knew. And Shizuo liked it that way. 

Shizuo liked it. 

But..it wasn’t exactly easy for him because he didn’t really know what he was doing. He was unsure, hesitant…

He was _scared._ Scared because something important to him was on the line. And he’d lose that if he screwed it up. 

Shizuo would watch Izaya talk and he would want to lean over and kiss him. Izaya would take his jacket off and Shizuo wanted to trail fingers down his neck, worshipping that smooth, perfect skin. 

But was he allowed to? After everything he had done?

Shizuo was watching TV, though it was less watching and more worrying about this certainly problem, and Izaya was typing away on his computer. The typing stopped and Izaya padded over to where Shizuo sat, though he didn’t notice until Izaya put his hand to Shizuo’s cheek. 

And Shizuo melted into that touch before he could stop himself. Izaya grinned from above him, brushing his thumb back and forth on Shizuo’s jaw. 

“What’s on your mind?”

Shizuo looked up at him, face flushed. “Um.” He didn’t know how to verbalize his thoughts. Izaya waited patiently but the hand winding itself into Shizuo’s hair was distracting. “Am I..allowed to touch you?”

Izaya blinked and Shizuo scrambled to explain himself. 

“Well- I didn’t know if you were comfortable with it. Because of..,” he trailed off. Then he spoke up, realizing: “I’m worried you’re afraid of me.”

And then Izaya pulled himself into Shizuo’s lap with a knee on either side of his hips and Shizuo went bright red, his back straightening. Izaya slid his hands over Shizuo’s shoulders. He looked Shizuo square in the eyes and Shizuo held his breath. 

“Touch me,” Izaya said softly. 

Shizuo hesitated but did as he said, placing his hands on Izaya’s thighs and sliding them up until they reached his hips. And he liked this alternative so much better - he liked feeling Izaya’s body against his without also feeling a blade against his neck. 

They were still looking into each other’s eyes and Shizuo was surprised by how calm he felt. “I have never been afraid of you,” Izaya said, “and I never will be.”

Izaya kissed him slow and soft and then, Shizuo knew that he had never hated Izaya. 


End file.
